We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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