Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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