This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
