Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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