nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
