Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
