yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
