go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
