Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize