He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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