coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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