Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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