I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
