I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize