When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
