I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
