and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
