don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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