I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
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you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
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