im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize