Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
how drunk are you?
Several
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
