All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
