i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
