if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Can Purell be used as lube?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize