Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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