yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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