We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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