Swine flu. Run for my life!
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
