If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
