Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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