dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Randomize
