i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
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I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
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he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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