This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
