it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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