I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
