Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
