I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
