I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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