Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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