ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
