You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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