So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
