I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
