So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
