So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
