I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
