If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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