I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
