So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize