Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
