I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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