I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
