the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
