Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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