I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
