careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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