Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
