I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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