69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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