I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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