new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You were trust falling into bushes
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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