Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You took a bar mat shot.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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