But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
