I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
